The body language you send out can get a new romance started — or halt it in its tracks. When trying to let someone know that you’re interested, you’d better know what body signs to use, and which ones to steer clear of.
The fact is you can’t flirt without using your body. Unfortunately, too many of us think we’re being coy when we’re really being obnoxious! So what body signals should you be using to convey attraction, romantic interest or more? Let’s take a closer look at the language of love.
Step #1 – Getting Him/Her to Notice
Want someone to take notice? The odds are you’ll let your body do the talking — even if it’s not intentional. When a man finds a woman attractive he usually pulls in his sagging gut; thrust out his chin; stands a bit taller; walks with spring in his step and begins to showcase any muscles he may have. Everything about the way he presents himself says, “Hey, check me out.”
A woman, on the other hand, presents herself a bit differently when she wants to grab a man’s attention. She will cock her head a bit, flick her hair around and maybe even expose her wrists and neck to signify a sense of vulnerability.
Another sign to watch for from both sexes: eye dilation. When someone excites you, your eyes naturally dilate.
It doesn’t matter who you (man or woman), we humans follow a specific order (or plan) in order to grab someone’s attention. First, we make eye contact. Once we’ve held their gaze for a few seconds (and our interest is returned), the next thing we do is smile to show an awareness of the other person’s attention and our agreement to it. Once this type of engagement has occurred, either (or both) parties in the flirting game begin to preen, or show off their physical attributes. They pull in their stomachs; stand up straighter; shift or tilt the hips; or any number of other subtle signs that show off their stuff and point their bodies toward the other person.
Once the sign of interest is conveyed, it’s time to strike up a conversation. The man usually takes the lead here, of course he’ll have to be sure that he’s read her body signals correctly thus far.
Step #2 – Accepting that Men and Women Are Different
Although there are similarities in the way most people present their body language (especially when physically attracted to someone); everyone is different and has their own way of flirting. These differences are especially keen between the two sexes. Men and women speak very differently with their bodies, making it very important to learn about each in order to both present your interest in someone properly, as well as to read their signals without an embarrassing mistake.
Step #3 – Learn to Walk with Purpose
When a woman wants to grab some attention, she tends to walk with a pronounced bounce or swing to her hips and bottom. Most alluring, this sway tells the man watching that she knows he’s sneaking a peek, and that’s ok. Men, on the other hand, tend to swagger, swinging their arms across their body as they walk, with elbows bent and their hands about waist-high. They usually turn their arms toward their body for a more strong and domineering manly look.
Step #4 – Sitting with a Strategy
Who knew that the way you sit could mean so much? Depending on the situation, it can mean more than you know! Men tend to take up a lot of space, or move positions frequently. Women, on the other hand are much more deliberate with their movements while sitting with someone. They move slower, pulling all gestures inward to give off a more submissive attitude. They may tilt their head to signify interest or cross their ankles to indicate readiness. Both sexes will lan toward each other at the waist when interested.
Step #5 – Letting Him/her Know That You’re Available
The first courtship ritual is expressing an interest. Next, is showing that you are indeed available at the moment. For women this includes such body signs as:
Tossing Her Hair
Tilting Her Head
Showing Off Her Neck
Putting on a Pout
Licking or Wetting the Lips
Exposing the Wrists
Touching the Other
Glancing Sideways
Fondling an Object
Pointing a Knee
Dangling a Shoe
Entwining the Legs
Women aren’t the only ones who can flirt with their body — although they may be better at it! Here are a few of the most common gestures a man will make to show his interest and availability:
Adjusting His Clothes (or basically cleaning himself up a bit)
Putting His Thumbs in His Pocket or Belt